I am fully aware that I am no longer in Africa, in fact, I am over 9,000 miles from Africa! What a sad thought. Nonetheless, I thought it might be nice to write about all that's happened since the whole "reentry" into my "original culture."

One word: culture shock. When first coming home, it was hard, but as the summer steadily disappeared, I found myself "comfortable" back at home. We talked so much about this as a team, and how we didn't ever want to be comfortable, how we wanted to keep the mindset that we had for what seemed so long. And I must say, it is a HARD thing to do. The feeling fades, but Christ is constant. 

But back to the culture shock. That's right now. College. College is a shock. It is overwhelming, saddening, depressing, draining, exciting, challenging, and utterly fascinating at the same time. The first few weeks have been nothing less than craazzzyyy! In short, college is everything that Africa was not. I feel like a stranger in my home. 

I have found myself so sad lately, though. I am not where I want to be (spiritually), and I feel distant from the Lord. But I know that he has me here for a reason. I know I was called to Philly, to Temple, for a reason. But it gets rough not knowing the specifics! It's so hard to go from full time ministry, which was aimed to help others (however, it totally changed me in every way..) to full time academia, which is aimed at gaining knowledge for ME. I can't fully describe this feeling uselessness. I feel like I have to DO something, when right now I know all I am responsible for is living out Christ's love in the midst of all this studying. I don't mean to make that sound like an easy task, for it is far from that. I am failing on so many levels. I am missing my team. I am lonely a lot. Even though I am making friends, it's a totally fresh start, and many times feels like a chore to maintain friendships. I understand this is no new thing. All college freshman have that odd period of making friends, but that doesn't make it less of an issue. Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING meeting new people. I have been so blessed already with some genuine girl friends. 

I don't exactly know what I'm getting at. Philly is huge, I am small. I haven't found my place, and for now being loved by the Lord is enough (though daily I feel as if I am not living this). There are so many opportunities knocking, and I know the Lord will come through and reveal to me what exactly it is I am here for. Christ is my stronghold, and in him I will trust! Wherever I am, I know he's got me in his hands. Blessed Assurance!! 

Pray for the Madre. Thanks.

Peace by faith, Love by Christ!! (I miss you, Ryan!)

PS I apologize that this entry was all over the place. I am all over the place lately. =]