So, I just realized that I posted a blank blog! And everyone received emails for nothing! So now I absolutely must write something.
I am fully aware that I am no longer in Africa, in fact, I am over 9,000 miles from Africa! What a sad thought. Nonetheless, I thought it might be nice to write about all that's happened since the whole "reentry" into my "original culture."
One word: culture shock. When first coming home, it was hard, but as the summer steadily disappeared, I found myself "comfortable" back at home. We talked so much about this as a team, and how we didn't ever want to be comfortable, how we wanted to keep the mindset that we had for what seemed so long. And I must say, it is a HARD thing to do. The feeling fades, but Christ is constant.
But back to the culture shock. That's right now. College. College is a shock. It is overwhelming, saddening, depressing, draining, exciting, challenging, and utterly fascinating at the same time. The first few weeks have been nothing less than craazzzyyy! In short, college is everything that Africa was not. I feel like a stranger in my home.
I have found myself so sad lately, though. I am not where I want to be (spiritually), and I feel distant from the Lord. But I know that he has me here for a reason. I know I was called to Philly, to Temple, for a reason. But it gets rough not knowing the specifics! It's so hard to go from full time ministry, which was aimed to help others (however, it totally changed me in every way..) to full time academia, which is aimed at gaining knowledge for ME. I can't fully describe this feeling uselessness. I feel like I have to DO something, when right now I know all I am responsible for is living out Christ's love in the midst of all this studying. I don't mean to make that sound like an easy task, for it is far from that. I am failing on so many levels. I am missing my team. I am lonely a lot. Even though I am making friends, it's a totally fresh start, and many times feels like a chore to maintain friendships. I understand this is no new thing. All college freshman have that odd period of making friends, but that doesn't make it less of an issue. Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING meeting new people. I have been so blessed already with some genuine girl friends.
I don't exactly know what I'm getting at. Philly is huge, I am small. I haven't found my place, and for now being loved by the Lord is enough (though daily I feel as if I am not living this). There are so many opportunities knocking, and I know the Lord will come through and reveal to me what exactly it is I am here for. Christ is my stronghold, and in him I will trust! Wherever I am, I know he's got me in his hands. Blessed Assurance!!
Pray for the Madre. Thanks.
Peace by faith, Love by Christ!! (I miss you, Ryan!)
PS I apologize that this entry was all over the place. I am all over the place lately. =]
I remember quite clearly before I embarked on this trip a conversation I had with my father about the length of time I would be in Africa. "Alene," he said, "I am sure that 9 months is a lot longer than you think." I honestly don't remember my reply, but of course, being the teenage daughter that I am, I flippantly tossed the comment aside. Parents are always right? Oh yes. Nine months is a lot longer than I bargained for. But by no means do I have any regrets in choosing this trip or being away for so long. I have learned more about life in this nine months than I can describe with words.
It's crazy to say it, but there are only two more weeks left in ministry before our team goes to do a week of debrief and then flies back home. I am having a hard time focusing on the present at this point, as I am so excited to be home to see family and friends. I am not so sure I will be ready for it, but as a team we have been praying a lot about what is to come. The ministry that I have been doing all semester long actually ends today. We will visit our last school and have a celebration with the girls and say goodbye. I can only pray that we have had an impact on their decisions with staying pure, and know that God has each and every girl in His hands.
So what do my last two weeks look like, you might ask. I was actually telling my discipler, Caroline, the other day, that God has a sense of humor about the ministry I have been doing. Last semester, I worked with children, which, needless to say, tested my patience on SO many levels. This semester, Cherish has been a series of mis-communications and failed plans, and again, God has tested my patience and my ability to show grace to others. I have learned a TON, but in these last two weeks, God is blessing me with an AWESOME opportunity that I am SO excited about. (Not to say that the ministry I was doing before wasn't exciting, as I can assure you it was!)
I met a woman named Jesse who works with another missions organization here in Swaziland called Children's Cup. She is a nurse from the states and works with the children at each of the care points. She was so gracious in offering to take me along with her while she is doing check-ups on the kids! Yesterday was my first day in shadowing her and I learned so much. They take a "mobile clinic" to each care point and basically give each child a physical and provide them with the prescriptions that they need. It was amazing to see the hands and feet of Christ at work through Jesse and her team. I have a new understanding of what helping the "least of these" means after being a part of her ministry. I thank God for such an amazing opportunity, as I am hoping to do something similar to her in the future! Hopefully I will be able to get some pictures up of her and the children soon =]
So, that's what's up in Swaziland. I hope all is well in the states. I am praying for you! See you in a few!
Every Tuesday afternoon, Alyssa, Jess, Gugu, Phumlile, Swazie and I go to a high school called Phumelele to teach Cherish, the purity program that I have described in other posts. Once before, we have arrived at the school and were not able to teach because most of our girls were not present. Why, you ask? The students were sent home because they had not paid their school fees. It actually seems to be a regular occurance, since this Tuesday it happened once again. Only two girls from my group of about 8 girls showed up to class, and informed us that most of the students were sent home. I could have guessed; the schoolyard was so quiet. . .except for some distant singing.
After hearing the news, we tried to decide what we should do... teach the few girls that were there or wait until next week to teach when all the others showed up. The two girls in my group asked me if I wanted to go to church with them during the hour we were supposed to teach. Church?! In the middle of the day at at school? I hastily agreed.
The singing I heard from earlier turned out to be many students voices emanating from the church service. So we went inside--a small classroom filled with students only. I was taken by complete surprise. Not only was there a church service during the lunch hour at the school, but it was led COMPLETELY by students! What an awesome experience. I really had no idea what was going on most of the time (the service was in SiSwati, the language of Swaziland), but it was such a blessing to see students praising God and looking to serve him during the time they could be eating lunch!
It's amazing how God seems to bless me when I am frustrated or upset. I was ready to get right back in the car and go back to the office and go home. But the Lord usually has something else up his sleeve. It's crazy if you think about it, his work is found in the places where you would least expect it. I am reminded of a quote by Mother Theresa that says "I can do no great things, only small things with great love." The students at Phumelele weren't a large mega-church, and they didn't march around forming a rally, they simply chose to love their God when it was possible, in a small classroom, even if the teachers didn't join them. They were doing a small thing, with great love for their God. They have no idea how big this "small thing" impacted me, and I will continue to remember this when I am thinking of giving up out of frustration. THAT was the body of Christ in action, and his body blessed me more than I expected or deserved.
This morning, our leader Matt Spainhour headed out from our home in Manzini to the airport in Johannesburg to go home to the states. Over the weekend he was swimming and jumped in and landed in the worst way on his back. He was taken to Nelspruit, South Africa to the hospital to have it checked out, and was told that he would need back surgery. One of the discs in his back is fractured and compressed. Two choices were given: surgery in Pretoria, South Africa and 6 weeks of physical therapy (by himself =[) or going home to get the surgery done.
Obviously, he took the latter option. Our team, needless to say is pretty heartbroken about it. Matt was and is an amazing leader and friend (and family member!) to our team and to many. His presence in our house will be dearly missed, but we know that God has some crazy plan worked out for this. So I am just asking for prayer for him and his family. He has a LONG flight back home, and there are a lot of logistics as to how he will be able to fly and what the surgery will be like when he gets back. So just pray for provision for all of the little things, and that he will get back safely. Also pray for his family back home! And his family here.
Once again, I am feeling as if I don't have much to write about. I know that sounds rather ridiculous, but true. I remember before leaving America to come to Southern Africa how much my thoughts were filled with adventure and spontaneous, life changing events being a part of my trip here. Not that this isn't a part of it, but that it simply isn't reality. The reality is that I do LIVE in Swaziland right now. Aside from living half-way across the world in a developing country, life on the field is, truthfully, rather normal. Don't get me wrong, God is doing some amazing things here, and it is awesome to see them unfold, but I must admit that my picture of what this would look like was far from what it actually is. Either way, I am more than satisfied with it. I am learning SO much here about who God is, and about the culture here, and about who God has created me to be. I am working with amazing girls in ministry and love seeing all of their smiling faces when we come to teach at the schools. They are such a blessing.
The trouble with ministry lately is that it is SO hard for us to successfully get all the girls to attend the classes each week. The schools, like any other, have a schedule to keep, and other things get in the way. So, if you are wondering if I have any prayer requests: this is it. I just desperately want to see the girls dig into what we are teaching them because I believe it to be critical information for young women, especially because they are living in Swaziland. It is a VERY male dominated culture, and many times during the lesson they talk about submitting to their husbands. It's as if this is the biggest issue that sticks out to them when we are teaching, which isn't bad--don't get me wrong. It's just that things such as virginity and abstinence are so much more important at this juncture in their lives (especially in light of the AIDS epidemic!). A lot of them are my age or older, and it has been interesting teaching people on the same level as myself.
I thought some pictures might be in order, since I haven't posted any since I've been in Swazi! (my apologies)
I know I know I know! I deserve to be chastised for the amount of time that has passed since my last entry. But I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive and safe in Swaziland. I will be updating sometime soon, but just wanted to say that all is well.
I figured I should update
since I haven't in quite some time. I have been avoiding it, I must admit. I
feel as if I haven't had a specific event or motivation for writing, but I'll
write nonetheless.
At this point in time, I am
currently still working as an instructor for the Cherish program. We have been
traveling to local (and not so local) schools and having small group meetings
with high school girls. Most of the girls are doing Form 4 or Form 5 (which is
equivalent to Grade 11 and Grade 12). A lot of them are much older than I
expected, some reaching ages of 21 and 22. The reason for occurrences such as
this is simply a lack of money to pay school fees. In Swaziland, graduating
high school is a privilege, not a right. School fees per year range anywhere
from about 40 USD to about 600 USD (the higher the grade, the more expensive).
Needless to say, most of the families have a really hard time coming up with
the money, and many students skip whole years of school because of a lack of
funds. I haven't met one Swazi who hasn't brought up their need for school
fees. It breaks my heart.
The Cherish program has been,
I must say, a bit of a challenge, which is nothing short of what should be
expected. We are still getting to know the three Swazi girls that we are
working with and the language barrier has been an issue here and there. On top
of that, going into schools and requesting an hour out of their school day is
near impossible. Through God's grace, we have been given the time in five
schools around the area and beyond. The problem here is that a lot of the girls
don't end up showing up since there is no motivation such as final exams or
credit for the study. So far, it has been a struggle to have all the girls
attend, but I can see God's faithfulness in what's happening each time we go
back. The girls, though they sometimes appear complacent, seem eager to know
what we have to share. They are all so beautiful, too! It's unbelievably hard
to learn their names, though. I am meeting with about 50 girls and that in
itself is a challenge, but add on top of that the fact that each name has a
foreign click or sound that my tongue doesn't easily manoeuvre through. I must
appear so foolish to them!
Some random, and rather
comical things about Swaziland:
-Being white is so last year!
Haha, I'm serious. I see maybe one or two white people on an average day. No
only that, we are constantly gawked at EVERYWHERE we go. I have been proposed
to at least once, and we are constantly summoned while in groups by Swazi men
who simply yell "Oh, I want one of you, I have many cows at home!!" Needless to
say, being a minority is a very new and awkward feeling. I've got a whole new
perspective.
-Women in Africa really do
carry many a number of things on their heads. I am constantly in awe of this
talent, and I must say a bit envious of their ability to maintain perfect
posture while walking down the street with tubs full of who-knows-what
perfectly balanced atop their heads. Maybe someday I'll acquire the ability,
but for now, I'll just keep wondering how it's possible.
-There are cows EVERYWHERE.
Most Swazis refuse to drive at night because of the constant danger of hitting
cows on the road. When traveling to schools, we have to stop an average of
about two times per trip to wait for cows to leisurely cross the road. (Goats
are a common threat as well!)
-Sitting "criss-cross-applesauce"
is a firm NO NO, along with using your left hand for anything. Wearing shorts in public is unheard of, and
most women wear skirts, especially in rural areas (pants are common in the
cities, but always below the knee).
Some not so random, serious
facts about Swaziland:
Life expectancy is 32 years
old.America's is 78.
HIV/AIDS prevalence is 44%.
America's is .6%
Swaziland is expected to be
non-existent by the year 2050 if AIDS continues to go unchecked. (Yes, that's
right, 41 years from now, it is a possibility that Swaziland will be wiped off
the face of the earth.)
50% of children are expected
to be HIV positive by the age of 15 years old. (If my memory serves me correctly)
In a recent newspaper
published in Swaziland, it was said that of the population of Swaziland
(approximately 900,000), 300,000 Swazis have not even been tested for HIV/AIDS.
This makes the statistics hopelessly inaccurate.
"But our citizenship is in
heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will
transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that
enables him even to subject all things
to himself." Philippians 3:20-21
Even in the face of AIDS, in
the face of starvation, in the face of unfaithfulness, in the face of greed, of
pride, of hatred, of our differences, of everything in this world that
separates us from him, He has the power
to subject all things to himself.
So, you're probably wondering in the world is going on so far in Swaziland. Welp, I've got the answer. Let me start with the basics. Our team is living in a house in Manzini, about 45 minutes from Mbabane, which is the capital of Swaziland. We live a 15 minutes walk from the city itself, and I must say, the countryside is the most beautiful I've seen--even more beautiful than that of South Africa. Maybe I should say its beautiful in a different way--lush and mountainous, as opposed to the rather flat coastal landscape of Jeffreys Bay. It's actually quite the opposite, preferable to the eye, but much more uncomfortable in terms of the humidity and heat. In the first week, there were days that reached to 107 degrees!!
The first week consisted of much inactivity, as we were adjusting to the time difference. We also began checking out the different ministry opportunities. We visited a total of 10 care points all in one day--with the help of our dear Swazi driver Elliot. It was quite the adventure, and I very much enjoyed the countryside and seeing rural Swaziland. Care points are small "containers" where pre-school is taught by local Swazi "makes" (pronounced mah-gay and meaning mothers) and gogos (meaning grandmothers). In the afternoon, the children are all fed, and in total, AIM is sponsoring care points in the area and feed a total of over 1600 children! I was blown away by how involved and integrated AIM employees are in the Swazi society. The Lord is doing amazing things in and through the program, and I have been very impressed by the growth and improvements that have been made and are in the process of happening now.
If you have the chance... look up the Nsoko project: It's an amazing vision and brings so much hope to the Swazi orphans and lends a promising future to many of the Swazi adults who are involved. (Nsoko is a TINY town that boarders mountains along Mozambique that has been horrendously affected by the AIDS epidemic.) The project has a vision of building a village that will care for the 56 most vulnerable orphans of Nsoko. They are in the process of building a clinic, (the nearest hospitals are, needless to say, too far out of reach) a church, a community building, and are soon starting the housing for the orphans. It is being funded by various churches and AIM supporters, and will hopefully provide local Swazis with jobs, and will empower them to be disciples of Christ, in turn changing the sickening outlook of a future that seems ensnared by a deadly disease. Those that are in charge have a huge heart for the people of Nsoko and are ready and willing to change the harrowing statistics that hold the Swazis of this small town captive. It's very sad, but SO hopeful.
Now you know what is going on in Swaziland through AIM (and I'm positive that I've missed much of what else they are doing). Now for what I am doing in ministry. Alyssa, Jessica and I are working as teachers for a program called CHERISH. The program is actually similar to Beat The Drum, but it is specifically for women. It stresses the sacredness of purity and instructs the girls how to practically protect themselves in the future, and receive healing for past emotional ties and sexual sin. The program is, simply, brilliant, and I am SO excited to start. The coolest part of CHERISH lies in its discipleship aspect, in that we are not only instructing them, but also empowering them to take the information they are learning and become teachers themselves. I can't wait to see how the Lord works through all of it!! We are working with three Swazi girls named Gugu, Swazie, and Phumlile. I really feel like the Lord specifically placed us there for them (and them for us!!). We will be working in pairs in the classrooms teaching, and each one of the girls is almost the same age as each of us. We are quickly forming friendships with them... and I already feel so loved by these girls. I cannot wait for the coming months going into local schools and teaching girls truths that actually apply to teenage life and specifically to living in the Swazi society. I feel like the Lord has really blessed me with this ministry and the friendship of our three girls.
So, in short, the Lord is moving and revealing new things to me daily. If you would like to pray for me and the team that would be great!! Praying for the state of Swazi as a whole is a request from much of the AIM staff. Pray for protection in the rural areas (and all areas, for that matter). Prayer would also be great for the unity of our team (we are starting a study of Romans). Specifically pray that we would be able to practically apply what we are learning here in Swazi and when we reach the good ol' USA (and Canada!). Pray against sickness, as cholera is spreading through many of the southern countries in Africa. Pray against AIDS, and pray for hope and courage for Swazis. Thanks =]
The lesson ending the Africa Awakening program in Jeffreys Bay was on God's will--something that we make so complicated but is yet so simple. Tag was telling us that no matter where we go, God's kingdom can come. God's kingdom is anywhere we turn, and we can bring his love anywhere we go. We constantly worry ourselves about our future plans, where the money will come from to fund our expenses, and will sustain us each and every day. We busy ourselves with worrying about God's call on us, when his call is to simply "go out into the world and spread my love." "This world is a troubled place, do something about it." It is that simple. To me, this is a beautiful revelation. And don't get me wrong, I am not discounting the Lord leading us and guiding us through our prayers, I am just in awe of how I, and many Christians I know, are so flustered by decisions that we feel will either be completely right or completely terrible. It's amazing to think that whether I'm in Africa or in good old Lebanon, PA, I can bring God's kingdom, and live out his will for me and for his people.
However, what I would like to focus on is His provision. Like I've stated before, in many situations in ministry while in Jeffreys, I felt as if the Lord almost dropped people out of the sky for us to pray for and minister to. It's amazing how he ordains simple path-crossings that turn into deep relationships. He really provides for need through his people, and surprises me when he choses to use me! This in itself is provision: The Lord basically reiterating that He can and He will use me when He wants to! I feel honored, and yet humbled. His power will be demonstrated through me. I love it. It's the most fulfilling experience I've ever had.
He doesn't just provide in one sense, either. As I have been home, it's been amazing how many times people have blessed me because of the work that I am doing for the kingdom. I attribute this only to the Father's grace and love to me. It's crazy what happens when you are working in the name of Jesus; His blessings are poured out! I would just like to thank all of you who have graciously donated and given your time for this cause--I am humbled by your love for Him and for me! The Lord has already done amazing things in my heart through this experience, and I can see His kingdom come in the little steps taken by our team in the town of Jeffreys. I can only imagine what's to come in Swaziland! (Oh, by the way, if I haven't informed you, I will be in Swaziland for the next semester!! I am sooooo excited!!!!)
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" Matthew 6:25-27
I missed the chance to get to update over Thanksgiving. And I was thinking that I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Being here in South Africa has made that all the more evident. I can't even begin counting the things that I take for granted living in America.
So the purpose of this post, is simply to thank God for all that He has given me, and just for who he is. One thing that really stands out since I've been here is that, looking back over my life (which I never have done before...) I have never noticed the numerous times in which Jesus really protected me. I know this sounds really silly... that I haven't been able to acknowledge his provision in my life, but it's so true. Not until being in Africa have I been able to really see all the places in which God has really stepped in and made sure I didn't mess up. It's a humbling experience, really. So Lord, I thank you so much for watching out for me!
Secondly, I would like to thank all of my supporters for everything that they are doing for me and for the kingdom. It is ridiculous, first of all, that I'm in Africa. That's a miracle in itself. But to experience the amazing things that God is doing here in my life and the lives of all the people that I have been meeting is something even more extraordinary. I have seen God in the little things, in a smile, in a hug, in the sunrise, in waking up every morning. So, thank you so much for your effort to give me this experience. I hope that through this, you might find a new way to experience His love, too. I know that if I look, I can always find Him =]
And lastly, I would just like to encourage you to wrestle with what's going on in this world today. Being here, which, in comparison to much of Africa, is actually pretty advanced, has been stirring my thoughts... I find myself restless with thinking about how privileged and blessed I have been all of my life. I have never had to worry about a place to sleep at night, or food to eat. I have never had to beg on the street for food (which is common for the street kids). I have never had to worry about ANY necessities. And I have easily taken this for granted so many times. For instance today, as I was drinking some bottled water, I was rudely awakened to the current state of Zimbabwe. There is literally no food to feed Zimbabweans, and cholera has already killed more that 560 people in recent months because of a lack of sanitary water. The largest hospitals there are closed because of a lack of medicine and pay for doctors. While some are struggling to find clean water, I find myself blissfully sipping from my bottle of Aquartz water. How can this be?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, simply, the Lord has blessed me again and again and I don't deserve it in the least. Others are suffering and I am not. I have no reason to complain, and every reason to be thankful for the things that I have. I have no excuse NOT to reach out to those who are in need.
So, what can we do? What can YOU do to reach out to someone in need?
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all of the destitute, speak up and judge fairly: defend the rights of the poor and needy."
